The Advice Trap

by Michael Bungay Stanier
Read & Summarized by Brad Penney

The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay Stanier (henceforth MBS) is a quick but powerful read about how managers can default to listening and questioning rather than simply issuing instructions. While MBS clearly states that coaching is only one of the six forms of managing, he contends it is the most potent and helpful strategy.

The book begins by encouraging readers to focus on “Hard Change”, that is, focusing on the future good, even if that means making tough decisions that might be more difficult in the short term. Empowering teammates to make their own decisions and take ownership is much more complicated than simply telling teammates what to do – but in the end, empowerment is much more beneficial. MBS then proceeds to outline the three needs of the “Advice Monster” – “Tell-It,” “Save-It,” and “Control-It.” These all boil down to a manager’s instinct to take responsibility for everything – thereby taking ownership and responsibility away from their team. While managers feel the need to ensure things are done correctly, this is counterproductive in the long run – having each teammate take ownership and responsibility results in a much more resilient and efficient organization.

The most powerful and valuable tools that “The Advice Trap” offers to help managers move towards coaching and empowering are the “Seven Essential Questions.” These can be employed in nearly every conversation with teammates, allowing them to begin to take ownership of their work:

1. What’s on your mind?
2. And what else?
3. What’s the real challenge here for you?
4. What do you want?
5. If you’re saying Yes to this, what must you say No to?
6. How can I help?
7. What was most useful or valuable for you?

These are incredibly powerful and can be used in many situations and combinations. MBS follows these with suggestions of how to ask questions, which requires both subtlety and complete attention in the conversation to use appropriately:

1. Ask one question at a time.
2. Cut the intro and ask the question.
3. Should you ask rhetorical questions? Does a one-legged duck swim in circles?
4. Stick to questions starting with “What.”
5. Get comfortable with silence.
6. Listen to the answer.
7. Acknowledge the answer you get.
8. Use any and every channel to ask a question.

These two lists are the most valuable insights this book has to offer. MBS has dedicated significant thought to them; even though they seem simple and easily summarized, they are incredibly powerful and surprisingly difficult to implement consistently. Practising these techniques takes time and effort—it is an excellent idea to print them off and place them within easy view of your workspace.

Coaching without offering advice (or at least rarely offering advice) can be incorporated into nearly any management conversation. Asking “What else?” may be a coach’s most powerful technique. Any manager aspiring to be more effective in the long term should read this book cover to cover (it is only 240 pages, interspersed with many call-out pages) and use the questions/techniques outlined above to become a better manager, coach, and leader.